Here we are again, ’14s! Another two months have flown by, and I know that you all have been eagerly awaiting this next installment of our Class Notes! I was recently reminded that I agreed (read: was tricked) to be your class secretary for eternity (read: the next five years), so just wanted to start with a friendly reminder to keep sending in any updates whatsoever. I was definitely not a math major, but according to my rough calculations that means I’m expected to write more than 18,000 words to entertain you all, so nothing is too big or too small!
On a somewhat related note: Behind every great class secretary, there is team of brilliant writers, producers, general class gossips, etc., that go uncredited every issue. So for once I’d like to take the time to acknowledge one of the class’ most valuable talents and lead New York correspondent, Amelia Acosta! In addition to gallivanting around the globe covering the Olympics, track and field, and football for NBC Sports, Amelia still has time to brainstorm some plausible yet devastating lies that “inspire” members of our class to provide us with some real updates every issue. She has also recently started producing top-notch cookie baking content on Instagram as well as documenting her culinary adventures partaking in unusually gross foods on the Instagram page @uglyfoodintheair.
The other behind-the-scenes producer I’d like to acknowledge in this issue is none other than the singularly talented Meredith Sweeney, who directs our West Coast gossip operations office. She just returned from an epic two-week adventure in Australia and currently lives in San Francisco, where she recently started a new job working for Chargehound—“a comprehensive chargeback solution that makes handling disputes easy”—joining fellow ’14 Pallavi Kuppa-Apte. I think the company has something to do with credit cards? As Meredith returns to America after a few weeks in Australia, she is switching places with her former S.F. roommate Seanie Civale, who is moving “Down Under” and temporarily trading her Dartmouth and Bay Area friends for a less cute group of kangaroos, koalas, and dingoes! On the other side of the world another one of our esteemed classmates, Chelsea Estevez, is moving back to Egypt after a few years working for the U.S. State Department in Tunisia. Although we all know that she really works for the CIA, Chelsea claims that her job traveling throughout North Africa and the Middle East is “50 percent official state business, 50 percent real life episodes of TLC’s hit show, 90 Day Fiancé.” The class of 2014 is really roaming all around the girdled earth these days!
Let’s finish this installment back on the East Coast with two quick, but very important updates. In addition to pursuing a master’s at Columbia University Teachers College, Veronica Leonard auditioned for the upcoming season of ABC’s The Bachelor. We can only hope that she gets selected and we get lucky enough to watch our former classmate on TV starting to pursue something even greater than an advanced degree—true love!
Finally, in the coming months Isaac Guttmanwill officially graduate from New York University School of Law and immediately be starting a position as “general counsel to Class Notes,”protecting me from the many misguided libel suits and accusations of slander that I am inevitably bound to face during these next few years. Isaac has also recently developed an impressive reputation as one of New York’s hottest amateur comedians. Everyone follow him on Twitter @imguttman for your weekly dose of his legendary dry wit and observational comedy.
—George Helding, 1216 W. Addison St., Apt. 2, Chicago, IL 60613; email@example.com