This column falls into an awkward place in the calendar. Though you will see it after reunion, my deadline falls six weeks prior. (Hope you were there!) In retirement I have been riding Amtrak from Syracuse to New York City with some frequency to see theater and visit museums for enjoyment and for research. I also see friends from various phases of life. Most recently I went to shows with two classmates: Daniela Varon (Dakar 2000) and Corbey Hyman (Othello with Denzel and Jake). Both are my daughter’s godmothers and have been theater professionals. Daniela is still teaching and writing in theater; Corbey (with whom I lived in Brooklyn in the 1980s) recently retired from managing operations at Skadden, Arps law firm.
Those long-running friendships (among other Dartmouth relationships that are ongoing and cherished) and preparing for reunion made me curious about friendship maintenance and formation at this time of life. I asked for and got responses from my 80Connect compatriots, and both Lies Sapp and MaryAnn McGarry (our convenor) have participated in multiple iterations of the program and gave a shoutout to the positive experience of exchanging different perspectives with classmates. We also noted that our group of seven had six female and one (lone) male participants, which gave a different twist on the old Dartmouth ratios!
Lies reports that after a decades-long distance from the College, her positive reconnection with Lord Hall friends a few years ago led her to 80Connect and has opened her up to more future possibilities. Carol Burns not only took a travel adventure with Anne MacEwan last April (to get Anne closer to her goal of visiting all 50 U.S. states as Carol has accomplished) but also moved in 2021 only to be pleasantly surprised to find connections with other newcomers looking for friendship. Ursula Nehr lives in Maine with her husband of 40 years and spends time with nearby friends, old and new, who share her interests, such as dog training, squash, biking, and gardening. Likewise, MaryAnn has built friendships around local service work and board activity as well as through her travel adventures (she climbed Mount Kilimanjaro during our time together!).
Christine McDade also moved states after 39 years in 2023. Moving away from day-to-day activities and friendships that were forged in the childrearing years has been challenging. Particular pinch points seem to be that the couple is younger than their near neighbors and Chris is still working. Chris is still seeking new hiking partners. Mike Shor (lately retired from his law firm) faces an age gap in the other direction. He became a father eight years ago and now hangs with parent-friends who could be our children! (By the way, he enjoys their company and the fatherhood experience, albeit at a slightly different time than many of us.)
I am grateful to Brian Boyer, who encouraged me to join up for 80Connect. One shared conclusion: 80Connect has been a friendship generator—across pasts, presents, and futures. We recommend.
—Kal Alston, 948 Euclid Ave., Syracuse, NY 13210; alstonkal@gmail.com; Wade Herring, P.O. Box 9848, Savannah, GA 31412; (912) 944-1639; wherring@huntermaclean.com