Class Note 1990. This month, when I was brainstorming questions to ask for the Class Notes column, my mind was suddenly distracted by aches in my hips (from running), and I thought to myself, “Other ’90s must be feeling the same things I’m feeling.” So, I decided to ask, “What’s something you have noticed about getting older, what’s something you do that keeps you young (or feeling young), or—if you have a philosophy about aging—tell us what it is.” Here is Part I of your answers: William Boulware Jr. writes, “My body can’t or doesn’t do what my mind thinks it should be able to do. I prepare and have the difficult conversations about death, money, and healthcare choices. I removed the word ‘try’ from my vocabulary—I either do or I don’t. I prioritize my personal joy and peace. I am learning to give myself ‘grace.’ I do not have enough time left on this journey. I owe the world nothing, but I give of myself what I can without dimming my light.” Julie Davis writes, “The first thing that comes to mind when I think about getting older is this great quote by Kierkegaard: ‘Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.’ The second thing that comes to mind is, ‘The definition of hell is when you die, the person you became meets the person you could have become.’ These two quotes capture my current state of mind around getting older—panic and a deep desire to make up for mistakes, regrets, and the rapidly emptying hourglass of life. Lifting weights and staying in shape keeps me young and I feel this is the one secret I have known for a very long time.” Tony Jones writes, “Physically, I started swinging kettlebells instead of lifting weights, and my back and shoulder pain disappeared. Mentally and spiritually, I started reflecting on my own death each day (memento mori), and that keeps me grounded and grateful.” Carrie Lott writes, “I’ve noticed a few trends as I’ve gotten older, especially since I was fortunate enough to retire (a heartfelt thank you to my husband, Tom, for being the sole financial supporter of our family). I do a lot more yardwork in my quest to avoid formal exercise. I find that my brain is quicker than ever to conjure up sage advice or wry jokes, yet I can’t remember where my reading glasses are. Lastly, travel outside of the United States is one of the most eye-opening life experiences anyone can have, and I’m lucky enough to do a lot of it.” Ali Long writes, “My philosophy about aging is sort of my overall ‘religion’ and rather unoriginal: Trust the process. Trust that even things that are unwelcome or unpleasant (wrinkles, memory loss, more aches and pains) have a purpose, an upside, or a lesson. Wielding the powerful force of will (that often drives highly intelligent people) has repeatedly resulted in unwanted outcomes. Trusting the process (going with the flow), even if I’m uncomfortable or befuddled on that journey, always lands me right where (and with whom) feels right. As a Stage IIIB ovarian cancer survivor, I would not change my onerous health journey. I live a more present, positive, and grateful life having navigated and survived it. Wrinkles, memory loss, and more aches and pains are a cake walk!” Eric Toler writes, “It is impossible to sleep much past 5:30 a.m. I attribute this to both the anticipation of enjoying another great day and the knowledge that the supply of such great days is not as unlimited as I once thought. This doubles as my philosophy on aging.”
—Rob Crawford, 22 Black Oak Road, Weston, MA 02493; crawdaddy37@gmail.com