Have you heard about Empathos? Read on for more from our guest columnist, Empathos co-chair, Brenda Almaraz. “Though we generally read this column to share our successes and celebrate our wins, I have no doubt that if we listed our 23-plus years of personal and professional experiences we may surprise ourselves to learn how many roads less traveled we’ve taken, and not by our choice! The ’95 Empathos Network started as a result of a few classmates motivated to do something for a fellow ’95 in need. When I first heard about Empathos I knew I wanted to be involved. Our focus is to connect and provide resources to classmates needing help or dealing with difficult situations. We recognize that by this stage in life, though our paths significantly have differed, we may have experienced similar hardships and be able to help each other, as classmates and friends.

“How can you help? Please consider becoming an Empathos Network volunteer. Our goal is to establish a diverse database to call upon and leverage our collective strengths when needed, especially as we get older. The time commitment is as flexible as you want it to be. Candidly, we recognize we won’t have a resource for every situation. However, extending the simplest gesture will let our classmates know they are not alone. Assistance will vary based on the situation. Trust me when I say the very simplest of gestures can be most impactful to someone; I know this from my own personal experience.

“On May 6, 2001, my son was born and died the same day from complications related to Down syndrome. He lived for three hours. During his funeral, I ran a slight fever, which progressively worsened. My family rushed me to the hospital and were informed to prepare for the worst: The cesarean delivery caused an infection, sepsis and pneumonia, and my organs were beginning to shut down from hypoxia. I was intubated and placed in a drug-induced coma for four weeks to let my body heal. The diagnosis was adult respiratory distress syndrome, which was brought on by the infection from surgery. After seven weeks, I was finally well enough to go home. It was all so surreal!

“Thereafter, there were countless hours of physical therapy, counseling and support groups. My family and I met wonderful people along the way. There were so many simple gestures of support from my community—without a doubt, these were the most impactful during my recovery. If anything, I was reminded that I wasn’t alone.

“Since leaving Dartmouth, perhaps we’ve shared more challenges in common than we realize. Certainly not to the degree which I just shared, but I’m sure we’ve each experienced a whole host of other unmentionables. I’ve since dealt with divorce, infertility, aging parents, career setback, loss of a business, the state’s foster care and legal systems, adoption of three young children, one of whom, with a heavy heart, we had to un-adopt last year. If there is any insight, support or advice I can impart from some lessons learned, I am willing and happy to do so, as are many of our classmates.

“I share the above not to garner sympathy but to tell you I can empathize. If you find yourself in a position to offer support or need help yourself, please connect via empathos1995@gmail.com. Only Ray Wadlow (fellow co-chair) and I can access this account. If you wish to connect anonymously, please do. We review each request and commit to confidentiality. Please visit www.1995.dartmouth.org/empathos to access the Empathos volunteer and intake forms or email us for more information. Thank you.”

—Kaja (Schuppert) Fickes, 2 Bishops Lane, Hingham, MA 02043; kaja.k.fickes.95@dartmouth.edu