The overall inaccuracy of this column occurs through little fault of my own. Sure, I often get names wrong, print fanciful job descriptions that have nothing to do with the classmate of interest, and outright invent life stories. To the extent that this contributes to the inaccuracies herein, I take full responsibility. But that’s not the real issue. The real issue lies with the publisher of this magazine. You see, I operate under a strict 500-word limit per column. No exceptions. Not even a participle may be dangled. Everyone knows that a picture is worth a thousand words. Thus, this column is worth a half picture. Sometimes a half picture can be misleading. That’s what is going on here. I’m only able to tell half of the story. No wonder it all seems so poorly researched and pretty much made up. If only I had a few hundred more words, I could clear this whole mess up. Anyway, on with the show.

Reunion is coming up this spring. As if turning 60 this year wasn’t bad enough, this is our 40th reunion. You should show up. Kathy Zug says we can all stay at her house.

Your reunion committee is planning an extraordinary event. What sort of things are in store, you ask? Well, for starters, Cary Bernstein will be flying in from San Francisco to attend. Cary is a famous architect and just initiated a bill in California (which was recently passed into law) that received full bipartisan support. What kind of law was this? Well, if we had just a slightly larger word limit, I could tell you. However, you’ll have to come to reunion to find out.

If the crowd around Cary is too big, you might want to wander over to Anne Arquit Niederberger. Anne will also be flying in from San Francisco, probably sitting next to Cary on the plane. Anne currently works to expand markets for energy-efficient consumer products. Given my recent attempts to corner the gas-powered lawn tool market, I may avoid Anne, at least initially.

Another classmate who will probably be at reunion is Paul Hill. Paul is a geological oceanographer at the University of Dalhousie in Nova Scotia. According to Professor Hill, he “studies mud.” As someone who slings a fair amount of mud, I suspect we have a great deal in common. I may even take one of his courses.

Finally, I really hope that Paige St. John Patterson comes to the reunion. Paige, who lives way out on Long Island, would have to drive right past my house on her way to Hanover. Not that Paige owes me a ride, but I’m pretty sure I drove her home from Dartmouth at the end of Sophomore Summer. Seriously, I’m like three minutes off the highway. And I’m good company. I might even bring my collection of 8-tracks. That last reference will mean nothing to everyone from the class of 1992 onward.

See you all at reunion.

—Eric Grubman, 2 Fox Den Way, Woodbridge, CT 06525; (203) 710-7933; grubman@sbcglobal.net; Juliet Aires Giglio, 47 Chestnut St., Sag Harbor, NY 11963; julietgiglio@gmail.com