I like science fiction movies, especially ones where the characters are in deep space and awaken from a cryogenic sleep only to discover that the world has changed dramatically while they were asleep. Writing this column is sort of like starring in that type of movie. If my calculations prove correct, you are reading this column on January 7, 2145. The following information is likely a bit dated, but it wasn’t really that accurate when I wrote it, so it’s probably no worse for the wear. However, in an attempt to make my writing seem slightly less dated, I have decided to add some future fabrications to the column.

I received a long missive from superhero Ted Cooperstein. When we last left our hero, Ted was working in Florida as a federal prosecutor. Ted eventually vanquished all felons in the sunshine state and has moved to our nation’s capitol, where he is training his sights on villains in our federal government. Ted’s cover is as general counsel of the U.S. office of personnel management. This job requires him to wear a jacket and tie—a clever ruse. Underneath said outfit are his regulation superhero tights, cape and utility belt. Though his superhero identity remains a secret at the time of this writing, I’m sure it will be revealed before this column hits the newsstands.

Living in the “wild west,” Gail Chicoine Richards has begun teaching a course in entrepreneurship at the University of Colorado. Gail also continues her work as a marketing consultant for a variety of companies, including one that is working to reduce concussions and traumatic brain injuries. Gail and husband Paul ’85 remain die-hard New England Patriots fans. In the future these two influences will collide and Gail will abandon her beloved NFL in favor of the burgeoning professional curling tour, where concussions remain thankfully rare.

Phyllis Utley was named as one of the eight most influential people in Asheville, North Carolina, by Mountain Xpress, a newspaper in that part of the world. There is an amazing article about Phyllis, describing her work helping underrepresented students further their education. Phyllis does a lot more than that, but there were a lot of words in the article and only one picture. My attention span remains quite limited. In the future, Phyllis becomes president. She calls on Cooperstein from time to time to battle evil.

Finally, Juliet Aires is a professor in the department of English and creative writing at SUNY Oswego, which is located in Oswego, New York. Now, I’m originally from New York. I’ve never heard of this “Oswego” place. I’m not sure it even exists. Come to think of it, the only person who ever mentions it is a certain professor of “creative writing” at a school reputed to be right there in downtown Oswego. Sounds a bit suspicious. But I’m the one who falsifies large portions of the column? In the future, we find out which class secretary really tells the truth. (Hint: Not Juliet.)

—Eric Grubman, 2 Fox Den Way, Woodbridge, CT 06525; (203) 710-7933; grubman@sbcglobal.net; Juliet Aires Giglio,4915 Bentbrook Drive, Manlius, NY 13104; julietgiglio@gmail.com