Class Note 1990

This month I asked ’90s, “If you were given naming rights to anything at Dartmouth, but you had to name it for a member of the class of 1990, what thing would you name and for whom would you name it?” (By the way, if you’re not receiving my emails, please send the College your updated email address.) Here are your responses. Mark Sternman: “The Torrance D. Blaisdell Coke Machine.” Here’s Tor’s explanation of Mark’s kind gesture: “I lost the election for band president to the Coke machine in the lounge of the new dorms. I was the only candidate and they made me leave the room. The Coke machine election was the worst sort of gerrymandering politics I have ever seen!” Mark Schiffman: “The Chuck Drake ‘Let’s All Get Naked and Do the Squid’ Center for Student Directed Recreation, Socialization and Entertainment, will be the new name for part of the building currently known as Collis.” Josh Blum: “I would name Bartlett Tower after Chuck Drake. Besides the fact that Chuck used to love to climb it and could read its beautiful weathered rocks like a blind man reads a favorite braille book, it’s also an enormous phallus standing erect in the woods. Chuck would appreciate that.” Lauren Waller Smith: “I would name the table in front of the fireplace at Alpha Theta after the late David Blanton, who was famous for sitting at it and sharing his wisdom while beating the rest of the house at spades over a beer or three.” Scott Reed: “The Phil Privatera Chair of Romance and Classical Languages. Phil and I took an advanced Latin class together freshmen fall and regularly translated 50 to 100 lines of Cicero, Catullus, etc. No joke. President Emeritus James O. Freedman could not be prouder.” Michael Keller: “The Thomas ‘Woodrow’ Warren Memorial Chi Gam Front Lawn Elm Tree.” Steve Linde: “I wish I had something more clever to offer, but I know Gus Conrades would forgive me and that he’d frankly agree. The thing that came into my mind was that the steam tunnels below the Green should be named Gus’ Pipes.” Michael Lindgren: “The J. David Kelsey Chair of American History.” Gary Katz: “At the entrance to campus police under Collis, a plaque stating, ‘On this site stood the Todd Eagle Video Arcade.’ Also, I’d make a good-sized donation if I could get my name on a plaque at the Four Aces Diner.” Katy Milligan: “I’d name a classroom in the Rockefeller Center after Eric Fanning.I’m so impressed with what he has accomplished!” Jack McBride: “I would rename the study area in the lower part of Baker Library the Lisa Forlano Shin Study Center. Whenever I cut through there to avoid the cold and on the couple of times I studied, she was there studying. Also I would rename Tuck Mall Anuj Gupta Boulevard because that’s where I met my lifelong friend. I might consider renaming Rollins Chapel to C.J. Kunnappilly Chapel just so future visitors would react. (‘Wait, what?’) Finally, I would name one of the dorms John McBride’s Daughter’s Dorm, which is unwieldy, but you insisted it be named after a ’90. That name will help me locate my daughter, who is a brand-new ’20!” Brian Sweeney: “I don’t like the idea of naming anything after a person when we are all still so young. We are all great individuals, but a sum of that is always synergistic and stronger, and being together in a gathering space makes that possible. Therefore I would name the Bema for the class of 1990.”

—Rob Crawford, 101 Black Oak Road, Weston, MA, 02493; crawdaddy37@gmail.com; Walter Palmer, 87 South St., Rockport, MA 01966; palmerwalter@mac.com